26 CommentsFiled Under: atheist, Atheists, cure, indigestion, Magic, satanic
Atheists: How can we use our satanic atheist magic to cure indigestion?
Posted by admin on July 19th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I ate too much babby last night, I knew I shouldn’t have. I’m feeling it today.
I’ve tried a few spells. I’ve noticed that if you light a pink candle, spin around four times, moonwalk, recite the pledge of allegiance backwards and drink a half a bottle of Pepto Bismol it seems to work pretty well.
26 Responses to "Atheists: How can we use our satanic atheist magic to cure indigestion?"
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i don’t believe satan exists.
take zantac
Pepto Bismol ingredients mixed with leftover babby.
you need to sacrifice a christian babby to make it go away.
i put my faith that Satan will destroy this world and kill all the Infedels
NOW IS THE TIME
THE TIME OF THE YEAR
FOR FUN AND FROLIC EVERYWHERE
ITS WOODLAND CRITTER CHRISTMAS
HAIL SATAN
I don’t believe in satan or santa.
What strange breed of troll is this?
You forgot to dance naked in the moonlight and call upon Satan’s evil minions and pop a bucket of popcorn (for me).
If you eat a bag of horse crap, it will cure your indigestion.
Vomiting all over a theist’s face usually works for me. Also, talking backwards with your tongue hanging out.
Play Marilyn Manson music backwards and do the hokey pokey.
Trust me, it works.
Im pretty sure the only thing that’s curing your ailment is the pepto… none of that other BS. Plus if you were athiest you would not have any satanic magic. Athiests don’t believe in anything… not magic, not satan… no im pretty sure you are neither of those things.
I usually spread my legs and quack like a duck while and then proceed to drink the Pepto Bismol.
Yes, the Satanic power of pink is awesome. Either tabs or liquid. Hail Satan!
Did you lay your hand on Origins of Species while moonwalking? I’ve found it’s usually a catalyst for most spells.
Why are you asking a question to which you have already discovered the answer? Next time you could try a whole tub of bicarbonate of soda in a gallon of warm water. You’ll need to drink it in no more than 30 seconds.
P.S. Please DON’T try it really!!
Peppermint!
However, to make it work you must sacrifice 13 virgins. Good luck finding them!
Threre is no such thing as too much babby.
I think perhaps a Christian might have been within a half-mile of you when you ingested the babby.
Quick! Sacrifice a virgin to our dark Lord Satan!
That will cure the ill effects of being near a Christian!
Bicarbonate of soda is by far the best and cheapest agent for the reduction of stomach acid and the fastest acting, you have to be careful not to have too much and make your stomach too alkaline.
*hands over prilosec OTC* That should help
I find that the unholy potion named milk of magnesia works wonders for many stomach problems.
The dark god of Science will heal you once you leave your sacrifice at the porcelain altar.
This too shall pass my son.
Sacrifice 4 baby’s to the Dawkins God and you shall be cured.
You can use your atheist satanic MONEY to go out and buy Tums. Or any other antacid. And then EAT them.
Alka Seltzer
p.s. + Black Tea
Write the following on a parchment paper:
Fire, fire down be-low,
fizzle, go out, and mel-low.
Burn this in a brass plate as you make the following potion:
To 4 ounces on purified water add 1 tsp sodium bicarbonate, and one tablet of acetylsalicylic acid which you have finely crushed with a mortar and pestle.
Drink the potion while you turn 3 times counter-clockwise.
You are a weirdo, do you really think that is going to work. Try praying to God.